M1

 

p4

 

1st draft

I have only done 5 pages and I need to do at least 10 as 1 page roughy equates to 1 minute of screentime. I haven't included enough parantheticals and actions in this, so it wasn't clear what the characters were truly doing when they were delivering the dialogue, which mean they would find it difficult to convey the range of emotions in the screenplay.

2nd draft 

I have been given feedback for my second draft and to summarise this, I need to add more parenthetical throughout the whole script to show how the characters are presenting themselves and also my camera directions and shot instructions are very good. the feedback also states that the dialogue feels unrealistic and also there are a lot of typos throughout the script so I need to go through and correct any spelling errors. some of the actions are currently unclear so I will need edit these to make them more clear for actors reading it. the script id currently unfinished and when I complete the rest of the script I need to add some more drama to add tension to the script.

3rd draft

I have improved the script by adding more parentheticals to show the characters' self-presentation, and I improved the camera directions and shot instructions. Several mistakes and unlikely dialogue were also brought up in the feedback, which I have fixed with proofreading and editing to correct them. Even though the screenplay isn't finished yet, I intend to improve it even more by adding additional dramatic aspects to increase tension after the remaining sections are finished. I plan on ending the script on a cliffhanger.

final draft

in my first draft I lacked a lot of detail about parantheticals and actions, not demonstrating enough detail to show what the character are actually doing whilst they are speaking the dialogue. Also in my first draft I didn't set the scene meaning that the actors acting this out all not have know what happened beforehand so may struggle to act out the emotions that are displayed throughout the script. However in my final script I have added a lot of detail in the actions blocks so that the actors know exactly what to do when acting out the script and they also know how to say the dialogue through the detail I have added through parantheticals. I have also added a short paragraph at the start of the scrip to show what has previously happened before this 10 minute extract so that the actors know how to act out each emotion throughout the extract.